Thursday, February 28, 2013

Monthly TOEFL Essay #1: Wriggly Toes (first draft)



513 words



“Wait! What do you think you’re doing?”
Dongsoo is flabbergasted. He had invited his friend Mike over. Mike came with the right smile and the right wine. Dongsoo welcomed Mike in, and there is where things went wrong. Mike welcomed his shoes in. The two friends stare in exclamation at each other. The custom in Korea is to take off shoes when entering someone’s home, or other rooms that have thresholds. I believe that this tradition is worth being adopted by people from other countries for mainly two reasons.

To begin, taking off shoes is much more sanitary. When one keeps his shoes on even upon entering the house, all the dirt from the outside world is brought into the home that is supposed to be a safe bubble. To mention a personal example, I moved into a house previously resided by Canadians when I moved to Canada. They wore shoes in the house, naturally for them. The house was completely carpeted, and when my mother tried to clean the floor, she found the situation abysmal. There were layers and layers of dust embedded into the carpet: impossible to extract. So we ended up wearing slippers in the house whereas in Korea, the floor was at most times clean enough to lie down and rub my face into. When shoes used outside are not worn in the household, only feet or socks that were rather protected from filth all day touch the floor. It’s no wonder that the Korean style provides a much hygienic environment.

Furthermore, saving shoes for only when venturing out is better for our health. One of the reasons is that feet would be freed from extended periods of oppression. If one had to where shoes all day, it would surely be uncomfortable; the feeling generated from inactive circulation. Efficient blood circulation is essential in health. Feet especially are said to be the center of health of our body, each part associated with organs all around our small universe. As for me, I always feel much more stressed on days I have to wear my shoes all the time compared to when I don’t, even if the amount of exercise is similar. So I find it safe to say taking off shoes and relieving our feet of the squeezing tension would be good for our health. Another is related to respiratory diseases. Shoes, being hard, inevitably kick up dust more than soft feet. Especially with all the dirt dragged into the house, an increase of dust particles in the air will increase. This cannot be good for our lung and windpipe.

In sum, the custom of going shoeless in the house has definite advantages. The two out of which were explained above are one, that it creates a cleaner environment, and two, that it may reduce the damage done to our health in the home. Therefore, this is one fine and beneficial custom that could be taken up and tried by people of foreign countries. Remember Mike? Mike is considering applying the system to his own house. How about you?



6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I do agree that taking shoes off is a good custom that brings lots of benefits as you have mentioned. However, are there only benefits "scientifically"? What I mean is that are there other benefits of taking shoes off rather than being healthy and clean? Otherwise, I think you developed your points well.

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  3. Your idea on the first paragraph just totally hooked me in. I had never thought of your idea before. Well, as a whole, I think it was a well written essay, but I also think that you could have developed your ideas more with detailed and well reasoned, researched supporting sentences.

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  4. Interesting topic, but I think it would have been more awesome if you actually investigated WHY the western cultures wear shoes inside their house, while we don't. What I know about this topic is the fact that one of the most distinct characteristics of the Korean house drove us to make shoes unnecessary indoors. That trait is the On-Dol, the...warm floor system. In the western countries, the only way the people could keep warm was their fireplaces on the wall which never was efficient to make the household sustain the right temperature in the winter. Especially on the matters of the floor...AND THAT is where the people started to wear shoes inside their house.
    I'm not sure whether I'm that much accurate, but still I think this a reasonable theory :) the people living in the US or Europe still don't have Korea's system....so..I think it is necessary to understand their action of wearing shoes indoors when the foreigner never came to our country before :)

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  5. An interesting approach, but I would suggest you mention the two reasons explicitely in the introduction. Having lived in Canada for a long time, I can assure you that in some houses taking shoes off is considered normal, but not in all. Carpet is on the floor to keep warmth, as many houses are built on several stories (including a basement) which makes installing ondol impractical. A central heating source would heat up the main floor, which would then heat the entire house as the heat radiated outward.

    It is an interesting questions as to why underfloor heating wasn't more widely adopted in the west, especially when it was commonly known in the Roman empire. Odd.

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    Replies
    1. Also, it's customary to change the carpets when you move into a new place :)

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